I’m Back
Greetings in Jesus Christ.
Well where do I begin? I’ve been gone now for over three months, the longest absence (by far) of my 17 year priesthood. I was on a sabbatical for the first three months; two of them at Mt. Angel Abbey living as a monk, the third month staying by myself at my family home in Stevenson, in the woods without TV or internet. The last week away was a family vacation. It was arguably the best three months of my life.
A little refresher: diocesan priests (parish priests) are entitled to a three month sabbatical every so many years depending on the diocese, for the Archdiocese of Seattle, it’s every seven years. Most priests never go on one as they never feel like it, or more likely, they don’t feel they are worth the effort, given all that goes into planning one. In my case, I had to find the priest coverage and of course know that things wouldn’t fall apart in my absence. There is also a stigma that I wasn’t aware of until I was on my sabbatical: lazy priest, or more likely, problem priest.
So why did I go away on a sabbatical? For the past three years I’ve been walking around like a zombie, feeling burned out. I wanted/needed some time away to pursue some things that weren’t happening in my day to day life, discernment that would help me in my life and ministry for the long haul.
So what were my goals on my sabbatical? Well there are a few different answers to that. My first goal was to understand better the stages of the spiritual of life to apply to myself and to help you. I got all my answers in one fell swoop, as a monk one day simply handed me a few pages of paper with everything I needed on it – that was easy! I’ll share this with you in a subsequent pastor’s column.
My second goal remains confidential.
My third goal regarded discernment. Discernment as to 1) whether or not God wanted me to remain a parish priest for life, 2) and if not, then what religious order should I pursue. There were a number of factors that went into this discernment, but living as a monk in Mt. Angel Monastery was very helpful in this regard. The answer to this discernment is to remain at Holy Redeemer as long as the Archbishop of Seattle will allow. My current pastorate officially runs until 2027, and I have reason to hope it could be much longer. There was much more that went into this discernment, and discernment about other things, but that’s what I can share with you at this time.
Lastly, and I really didn’t understand the full extent of this until I was on my sabbatical, but I needed rejuvenation. I have been a priest for 17 years, am 51 now, and I don’t envision retirement until I’m 80, or die, whichever comes first. Pacing and self-care are essential. Burnout for me comes from “always” – always going home to an empty rectory (loneliness); always being the only priest present (different from everyone else) no matter where I am; always expected to be a faithful religious and moral example and leader; always expected to do and say the right thing in the right moment at Mass (six days a week), in the confessional (four and a half hours per week), or anywhere. These are the “always” – without peers to live with and work alongside – that burn parish priests out. I needed a break and I got it – praise be to God! I feel more rested now, clear headed, and prepared for my life and ministry than I ever have before.
A few thank yous are in order. I want to thank all the priests who volunteered to say Mass here while I was gone, especially Fr. Martin who covered all the weekday Masses. I want to thank Ed Brands our Administrator: without his hands on, can do contribution, I wouldn’t have been able to leave without having a parish to return to. Lastly, I want to thank you for your encouragement, prayers, and missing me! Knowing how much you appreciate me was one of the many factors in my discernment above.
I Love You in Christ,
Fr. Thomas Nathe
