Funerals — Part 1 of 2

Mar 15

You’re Going to Die, so Please Read This

March 16, 2025

Jesus Christ: Yesterday, Today, and Forever ~

Over the past fifty years or so, Catholic funerals have fallen on hard times. Most Catholics do not have a Catholic funeral upon death, and the number that do continues to drop. This is very unfortunate and clearly reflects a loss of faith in general, and a lack of understanding of the meaning and value of a funeral.

In a funeral, the Church marks the “passing-over” of a soul from this life to the next. Think of the Jews being freed from slavery in Egypt by passing over to the Promised Land. This is commemorated every year in the Jewish Passover meal. The passing over of Jesus Christ from this life to the next is commemorated every day in the sacrifice of the Mass. In each case, a monumental change from one life to the next is being memorialized through a religious ceremony marking the passing over.

When Jesus Christ died on Calvary, He sacrificed himself on the altar of the cross for our redemption. Because Jesus is God, He is not bound by the laws of time and space; therefore, at every Mass we enter into the one, eternal (never-ending) sacrifice of Jesus Christ on Calvary for the Glory of God and the redemption of the human race. With a Catholic funeral Mass, the life of the deceased is religiously memorialized by being united to Jesus Christ, honored, and helped as it passes over with Jesus from this life to the next.

All of us should be prayed for and praying for others, in life, death, and beyond. None of us are perfect at death but everyone in heaven is. Our entry into heaven is preceded by a purification of our sins, major or minor: sins that prevent us from directly entering into heaven. At a Catholic funeral, we gather to pray for the dead who are undergoing a final purification in Purgatory.

At a funeral Mass, we offer the one, eternal sacrifice of Christ to the Father for the repose of the soul of the deceased. This is what it means to “offer” a Mass for someone. The Mass is a sacrifice, and we can and should offer our intentions that the merit of that sacrifice would grant repose to the deceased’s soul. Remember, the deceased can no longer help themselves because we can only merit while we live on earth. The souls of the dead are totally at the mercy of our prayers, sacrifices, and penances for help.

Fundamentally, human beings are social beings. In addition to the deceased, at a funeral, the living have an opportunity to come together to be consoled by God and each other in ways we may not be aware of. A funeral allows a community (family, Church, etc.) a chance to process death in the context of faith in Jesus Christ. The community of believers gets a chance to process grief, express gratitude, ponder our own death, pray for each other, receive direction from the Word of God, find closure, and most importantly receive God’s grace. Our faith in God is strengthened when we honor fallen Catholics with a funeral, and it is weakened when we don’t.

With all the spiritual and temporal benefits of a funeral, why are fewer families having them?

Most Catholics just don’t know the merits of a funeral from a faith they no longer practice. Most people are older when they die, and even if they were practicing Catholics, most of their adult children and grandchildren are no longer practicing the Catholic faith of the deceased. Hence, the people who are responsible for funeral arrangements do not have an appreciation of, or interest in, arranging a Catholic funeral for their deceased loved one. Therefore, we need to teach our adult children that we want and expect a Catholic funeral at our death. Don’t assume that your adult children will make the right decision in this matter; you need to spell it out for them.

Here are some things to know and plan for when having a Catholic funeral anywhere, and specifically at the three communities that make up Columbia River Catholic: Holy Redeemer, St. Thomas Aquinas, and Our Lady Star of the Sea.

1. Call the parish before you set the date and time of a funeral. We are here to help and we know what we’re doing. We don’t expect you to be knowledgeable in this area. We will guide you and your loved ones through the epilogue of a life.

2. Who can have a Catholic funeral? Any deceased Catholic, practicing or not. Why not non-Catholics? We must respect the religious beliefs and practices of non-Catholics during their life and after their death as well. If they chose not to become a Catholic in life, then we can’t impose our faith or religious practice upon them in death. Nor can a non-Catholic impose their will upon us to have a Catholic funeral when they rejected the invitation in this life to be one with us in the Catholic Church.

3. We do funerals – we don’t do memorial services or celebrations of life. What’s the difference? A funeral will have the body present, either in a casket or in an urn. Why is that so important? The body and the soul are inextricably united. The body is not merely a random vessel of the soul, but part of a person’s immortal being. Without it, you are not you. Without a body present at a funeral, we are not uniting you to Jesus Christ for the passing over of your soul and body (which are one in being). Rather, we are sharing memories (eulogy). We don’t throw birthday parties for someone unless they are going to be there.

4. Make it clear to your family that you want a Catholic funeral regardless of what they want. Put it in your last will and testament to have a Catholic funeral, and if cremation, to bury the ashes all together in a cemetery.

5. A funeral can be small. Sometimes the deceased or family members making arrangements don’t want a big fuss. Know that it doesn’t have to be big. We can prepare the funeral liturgy without even meeting with the family or advertising it. We can make all the funeral liturgy arrangements if that makes you or them more comfortable, and that includes a reception in the parish center. Just make sure a funeral happens.

6. What is the cost of a funeral? It is a free will offering. Usually a family gives between $100 - $500, yet there is no expectation of compensation – you don’t have to give anything. The real cost is determined by the funeral home and what you want, and that can vary greatly.

7. Depending on the campus, Columbia River Catholic has funerals Monday through Friday. Remember, for all of human history until the automobile, only locals could attend a funeral. If the funeral is important enough to the deceased’s family and friends, then they can take time off from work or school to attend. Remember, the funeral is primarily for the deceased, not the living, and the deceased do not care (anymore) who made it to their funeral. From Purgatory, they only care that there was one.

To be continued next week with the second and final part.

May Almighty God Bless You,